I recently met an acquaintance whom I haven’t seen for quite
a while. Her reaction was typical – awkward and unsure of what to say, then
came the commiserating noises and comments of how difficult it must be for me
and how I must be suffering.
Most people are very uncomfortable around disabled people.
They don’t know what to say or how to behave and therefore become very awkward
and nervous and ultimately end up saying and doing all the wrong things. Many
times they simply avoid them because then they don’t have to deal with such a
‘situation’. When they dare to acknowledge and talk, they make pitying remarks
or ask silly and sometimes offensive prying questions.
These kinds of awkwardness, uncomfortable behaviours and patronising
attitudes are what disabled people have to put up with on a regular basis. Then
there are also the stares and whispers that they are subjected to.
Now, you can say that it’s natural to be a little awkward and
curious when one encounters something, or someone, different. That’s true. And
certainly the not-so-at-ease feeling at meeting someone new is quite natural and
normal curiosity over something different is not in itself wrong or offensive.
But here we’re talking about reactions like as if a bizarre apparition has
suddenly appeared out of the blue.
As we know, different becomes less different when seen
and encountered often. So, the question is how are disabled people ever going
to become less different and weird and more a part of society as anyone else
when they are never seen? How is anyone ever going to get used to talking and
interacting with disabled people when they are kept out of all the places where
people work, study and socialise?
When I read about people in other countries speaking out
against inaccessibility, discrimination and other such issues concerning
disabled people I often wonder what their reaction would be like if they should
ever visit our part of the world. These are voices in countries where
disability awareness and accessibility are at levels quite unimaginable for us
and yet there is still so much inequality being faced by the disabled. They
would probably faint in shock.
There is zero understanding of disability in our society
which, of course, means zero accessibility and zero opportunities for the
disabled. It is really quite astounding the mindset that still prevails. If you
are disabled then you are seen as less than a person, an object of pity worthy
of only charitable acts that kind able-bodied people bestow upon you. For those
who acquire disabilities along the way, as in my case, the thinking is that
their life is over and done with. This kind of mentality is, of course, not
unique to our society, but the level that exists among us is unbelievable. This
mindset that sees the disabled as useless and ‘unable’ is so deep rooted that
it is frankly exhausting at times trying to get past it.
Different, strange, weird – I’m all that. I’m not a person,
I am my disability. But that’s really no big surprise, is it? How can I be seen
as anything else other than a bizarre creature, a freak show, when the society
I call my own refuses to listen or engage and continues to completely ignore
and exclude me? Access is denied everywhere and disabled people remain virtually
invisible. Schools and colleges, shops, marketplaces, work places – the list
goes on and on……..everywhere means everywhere. All public places, all buildings
are inaccessible. So where is the possibility for people with disabilities to
go out and mingle, to live any kind of life? When disabled people are never
seen, how can anyone ever get used to interacting with them and seeing them as
persons with individual interests, desires and needs?
And in this scenario of practically no interaction, how will
awkwardness, misconceptions and prejudices ever be eliminated from our midst?