I was recently asked to be an ambassador for the rights
of voters with disability in Nagaland. When I was approached I suggested that a
young person would perhaps serve the role better. But after some discussion, I
accepted the offer as I felt that it was a great opportunity to educate and
create some much-needed awareness on disability.
Anyway, on National Voters Day on January 25th
last month I attended my first event as an ‘icon’, as the ambassadors are
called, where I got a few minutes to say my piece. Apparently it was the first
programme involving the ambassadors in this cycle since there was a round of
complicated introductions by an official. I found out that two of us had been appointed
as State Election Icons along with several other District Icons.
The official began the introductions with a brief
explanation of the role of the icons. Then he went on to the categories and
said that this time around two State Icons had been appointed. “One is normal,”
he said, “and the other is……” He trailed off mumbling some unintelligible
words. He appeared to have caught himself before he actually uttered the word,
but it was clear what he was saying – one is ‘normal’ while the other is ‘abnormal’.
No, I was not shocked because this is the kind of mindset
that we’re still living with – I have a disability, I’m in a wheelchair, I’m
different and therefore I’m ‘abnormal’. It’s
a
mindset that says that people with disabilities are a different
species of humans incapable of doing what ‘normal’
people do. Because I have a disability I am considered incapable of
functioning in an ‘able’ world, incapable of socialising, incapable of actually
living a real life. Because I have a disability, I am supposed to be an asexual
being incapable of experiencing emotions and feelings as ‘normal’ people do.
Even in this day and age, the dominant prevailing
attitude in Naga society is that individuals with disability are ‘abnormal’ and
incapable of participating in or contributing to society. They are perceived as
deserving only of one’s pity and charity.
Whenever I meet anyone, you can be sure that more often
than not I’m greeted with words like – “Oh so sad, you must be really
suffering”, “You poor thing”, or “What a struggle it must be for you”………or
something of that sort. Just because my journey is different, I’m considered an
object of pity. I know that most people mean well, but let me tell you that it
does not make it less annoying to constantly hear people commiserating with
your supposedly woeful situation.
So, let me put it straight for everyone’s information -
No, I’m not living in a perpetual state of suffering. I have my ups and downs
health-wise and mood-wise like ‘normal’ people. That’s it, nothing more,
nothing less. Yes, there are some things that you ‘normal’ people do that I
can’t do, but I’ve improvised, learned to do them differently and have overcome
them quite handily, so believe me, my life is not a constant struggle to
survive. In fact, the challenges have made me a stronger and smarter person since
I had to figure out how to get around them. You should be so lucky!
You can also rest assured that I’m not sitting around in
a great big depression wallowing in self pity and cursing my misfortune.
Certainly, the appalling conditions in our state do not make things easy, but
don’t worry, I may be ‘abnormal’ to you but I live a ‘normal’ life. I’m
independent, I earn my own living doing work that I love and I live an active
life and do my own thing just as you ‘normal’ people do. I travel and I also party
and have fun. OMG, a disabled person socialising and enjoying herself!
Unbelievable, right? I bet I can out-party the heck out of any of you!
Surprise, surprise – I have a disability but my life does
not suck. I feel great to be alive; I’m happy and I love my ‘abnormal’ life.
So, bottom line - don’t waste your pity on me!
Now that is not to say that I’m not grateful to all those
trying to be supportive. I understand that you’re doing it the best way you
know how and I do appreciate it. I’m just saying that pity is not the way to go
about it. Of course, I need and want help sometimes and most times I just wish
someone would give a real damn about the real issues faced by people with
disabilities in our state. But pity? Nope.
If you really want to help and support, may I suggest the
following? Talk to people living with disabilities and get to know them, find
out the problems and difficulties they face. I’m going to bet that in most
cases you’re going to discover that their disabilities are not the real problems;
instead the real problems they face are the barriers all around them, be it
physical or attitudinal. Indeed, we certainly have some functional limitations
due to our disabilities but that does not disable us; we are able but
ultimately we are disabled by the inaccessible environment and poor attitudes
that surround us.
Support us by standing with us in our fight for equal
opportunity and treatment. Educate yourself and educate others on disability
and help us change the way our society views and deals with disabilities as a
whole. That is the best support you can give us!